When we’re not owning our own value, we’re not in alignment with ourself. We’re waiting for someone else to tell us we’re enough, we’re worth it and that it’s okay to ask for what we want and need. We’re giving our power away and today I want you to take that power back.
The cold hard truth is that if you’re waiting for another person to value you, when you can’t and won’t value yourself, then you could be waiting a long time. It’s a sad fact that people will always treat you how you allow them to treat you…. whether this is about not respecting your boundaries, or not paying you what you’re worth. Let’s be honest here, why would they put themselves out when they know exactly how to get what they want and they can pay you less. There’s no incentive for them.
The question of ‘self value’ for me is an important one and it covers your personal life and your working life. Some people will have it all figured out in their business, or in the office, but when it comes to their home life they feel like a doormat. For others, they have loving boundaries at home, but at work, clients and peers are taking advantage whenever they can. Today I’m looking at self value with work and your own business.
When I worked corporately, I can remember just thinking if I get my head down and do an amazing job, doing everything they’re asking and more, then they’ll value me, appreciate me and reward me. In fact all they did was pile on more and more work well above my pay grade, they paid more money to those doing less than me and they constantly waved a carrot in front of me, promising a pay increase or promotion. It was so demoralising.
The crunch came when my head of department (also a woman and a mum) said ‘it’s not right or fair, but until you come back to work full time, you won’t get your promotion and pay increase’. I will never forget that meeting or her words, because I knew they had backed me into a corner, where I had to accept their terms or leave. In the end I left, with no job to go to and a business that was only an idea. No way was I giving anything else to a company that had so little regard for me. Am I angry at them? Of course, but it was me that had ‘mug’ written across my forehead, they just cashed in on my trusting nature.
I’d like to say that my lack of self value ended there, but it didn’t. It was symbolic of a bigger issue and one that people can occasionally take advantage of today. It’s the part of me that wants to see the best in people and believe that they will treat me in the same way I would treat people. But the world isn’t like that and not all people are like that. It’s a hard pill to swallow at times, but I choose to look for the learning and what I need to action within my own life. All of this brings me into more alignment with who I choose to have in my life and it’s showing me how to value myself more within my own business.
So believe me I do understand your struggles when it comes to valuing yourself and it’s probably why such a big part of my work is getting people to believe in themselves. I want you to see how much you have to offer others and save yourself some of the heartache, frustration and resentment that I experienced. Back then, I had no idea how much it was impacting me and how it caused me to play the victim at times by giving my power away to people who didn’t have my best interests at heart.
Let’s look at some signs that you may be under valuing yourself in you own business:
- You see people less experienced, or even as good as you moving ahead and achieving success. While they’re shouting about how great they are, demanding to be noticed, you’re sitting back and just hoping that people see you.
- You’ve priced yourself so low that you have no time to grow your business, you’re constantly working with clients and putting out fires. You can feel resentment setting in.
- You feel resentful to those that are paying you, because you know you’re being paid less than you deserve and that you’re worth more. The trouble is you don’t enjoy conflict and maybe you need the money you have, so you’re not having those difficult conversations.
- Other people are surprised by what you charge, or what you earn and often tell you that it’s time to increase your prices.
- People want and expect more and more from you, because they don’t value your time, energy or expertise.
- You’re always offering discounts and giving way more than you need to.
- The transformation you create in people and what you provide far outweighs what you charge or what you earn.
If any of the above resonates with you, then it’s time to go deeper. It’s time to find out why have you given your power away, so let’s look at the following questions:
- Are you waiting to be noticed and for someone to simply give you more money? Newsflash – they won’t. Decide you want to be noticed and ask for what feels right. Put your prices up, negotiate your rate, do whatever feels right to bring you back into alignment.
- Are you waiting for someone to give you permission to value yourself, or to confirm to you what you’re worth? People can tell you how great you are repeatedly, but only you can truly receive this. Ask yourself why you don’t feel worthy of those compliments, attention or more money.
- What scares you about asking for a pay rise, or pricing your products and services at a level that feels right for you? Is is rejection, conflict, the fear of losing the income? Ask yourself if you really want to have these people in your life if they can’t or won’t value you. There will always be others who will pay more and there are other ways to earn money.
- What fears arise when you think about setting loving boundaries with people? Perhaps you worry that they will think you’re uncaring, selfish and not there for them. Maybe this is about avoiding difficult conversations again. Get clear and it will be much easier to move forward.
- Do you worry that you’re not worth what you’re asking? Has someone made you feel that you weren’t worth more, have you struggled to make sales, is this connected to your personal life and is now seeping into your business? Look at Self Worth across all areas of your life and see if you can spot any themes.
This is such an important area of inner work, because it can have a huge impact on how we feel and our earning potential. So what do you need to change or tackle immediately? If you would like to explore this further with my help and support, CLICK HERE.
Just know that you’re not alone and my support is available if you would like it.
Until next time!
Helping sensitive souls to embody self-care, self-acceptance and self belief