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September 17, 2018 By Marie Houlden 0 Comments

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mariehoulden

There is not enough support out there for parents

There is not enough support out there for parents with neurodiverse children....and I want to help!
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When I repeatedly hear about waiting times, lack of support, daily challenges and how it impacts the emotional and mental wellbeing of the entire family, I feel so sad and so angry.
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I know resources are stretched and the demands on schools, council departments and the NHS are higher than ever, but parents need help and I'm not okay with leaving them to struggle.
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I believe that when parents have the resources they need to feel emotionally regulated and calm, they are much better placed to help their child/children. If you're stressed, anxious and your nervous system is all over the place, you're in survival mode and everything becomes too much. How can anyone give to children from this place?
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I'm luckily enough that I have lots of tools at my disposal and people that I can lean, but what about those who aren't that lucky. What are they meant to do?
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I don't have all the answers and I'm learning as I go, but what I can tell you is that I want to help and if you need me, I'm here to help.
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I'm exploring a few options.... 'A Self Care Tool Kit' that you can dip into whenever you need it, running my live 6 week programme again and even hosting a day or weekend retreat.... all for parents of neurodiverse children.
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If you're a parent of a neuro divergent child (or you know someone who is), please tell me what you need and let me help. You do not have to do this alone.
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#adhd #autistic #neurodiverse #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #autismacceptance #adhdparenting #autismparents

"Marie has a gift for creating a safe space for di

"Marie has a gift for creating a safe space for discussing the hard stuff without judgement. There is great power in the small group setting and I experienced both relief and insightful 'aha moments' from the breathwork we were guided through. Learning to be compassionate toward ourselves is crucial and that is at the heart of the program Marie guided us through. I recommend the 6 week support for Mums of Neurodiverse children without hesitation". (Anonymous)
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I absolutely love getting feedback like this, because it shows me that what I’m doing is making a difference to people and it makes me really excited to run the group again. Over the years I’ve run many groups and programmes, but this one is especially meaningful to me. It’s the group I wish I had when I was struggling with parenting a child who was neurodiverse.
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My own therapy and other healing modalities did help massively, but what I craved was being with people who really understood my situation; because being the parent of a neurodiverse child means dealing with daily challenges that most people don’t ever have to think about, or deal with.
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There were times (and still can be) where I just want someone to say ‘I understand, I see everything you’re dealing with and it’s okay to feel the way you do’.
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So it’s time to run the group again and I can’t wait. There are so many people out there who need this safe space to share how they really feel, to receive emotional support and ultimately feel more confidence in their ability to be that positive and calming presence for their children.
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I have decided on a day time group again (and it's all online), but I’m open to an evening (UK time) if enough people are interested. Drop me a message if you would like to know more or have any questions… my plan is to get started next week!
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(I have received messages from people asking if I work with Dad’s in a group situation, and the answer is ‘not yet’. I have begun working privately with dad’s, so watch this space….)
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Self Care Is...Having time where it's all about yo

Self Care Is...Having time where it's all about you!
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This week I've had some fascinating conversations with clients about taking proper time out to relax.
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If you're like me, you might say I relax by watching the TV at night, or reading a good book. While you might be stopping physical movement and you're not racing around the house, looking after the kids or working etc... is this really relaxing enough for you?
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Imagine this, you're watching the TV or reading a book and yet there's still a part of you that's on edge and not completely relaxed. You know that other people are in the house and experience has shown that you must be ready for the unexpected. So you're waiting for someone to interrupt you, or you're waiting for something to happen.
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Your body and nervous system is incredibly clever at remembering all of these previous events where you were interrupted, or something did happen. Without you even knowing, it's placed you on high alert, despite the relaxing activity you're trying to enjoy. It's trying to keep you safe and deal with the imminent threat, that it thinks might come forth.
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As you can imagine this is exhausting and can lead to massive energy dips. But there are things you can do and for many people this is having time alone where it's all about you.
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Suggestions for you:
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Take regular slots of time where you can go somewhere alone (or have the house to yourself) and where there are no demands on your attention or energy
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Turn off your phone, or at the very least put it on silent - only answer if it's an emergency (you could agree a code in advance for calls that must be answered)
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Give yourself permission to be present with your body, your thoughts and the space around you. It's why I love getting out into nature....
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Meditate or do breathwork, ensuring you won't be interrupted
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Commit to healing sessions where you can talk about how you feel, without the need to justify or defend yourself.
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I would love to help, so check out the links in my bio.
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#selfcare #selfregulation #neurodiversity #neurodiverse #ADHD #ADD #Autism #Autistic #highlysensitive #parenting

'Self Care Is'...... the most loving thing you can

'Self Care Is'...... the most loving thing you can do for yourself and for those around you, especially if you’re the mum to a neurodiverse child.
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If you're feeling fulfilled and 'full', then you have so much more time, love and energy to share with others.
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The trouble is, so many women feel selfish if they put themselves first. Society and their own upbringing has told them that they must be a 'good girl' and that they are there to please others and keep them happy, no matter what the cost to their own emotional, physical and spiritual wellbeing.
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All of this fear causes us to push on, do more, ignore our intuition, put our needs aside and ensure everyone else is happy - even to our own detriment. We can choose resentment, exhaustion and frustration over disappointing others, letting them down and avoiding conflict.
In her book 'The Art of Extreme Self Care', Cheryl Richardson talks about the moment her therapist said to her - "your ‘good girl’ role is going to rob you of your life.” This hit really hard for me, because it made me realise how many things I did out of duty, obligation, or fear of how the other person would react. It also meant I wasn't speaking my truth and I was accepting less that I deserved or wanted from life.
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So what needs are not being met for you?
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Where are you choosing to put other people first and then choosing to deal with resentment, frustration and exhaustion instead?
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If you're being honest with yourself, do you play the victim or martyr; believing you're powerless and that there is no choice?
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Could you choose to slow down and take the time to connect with your inner truth and what you really want? When you're busy being busy, there is no time and space for clarity.
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Choose to make yourself a priority in your own life, by filling up your cup and let me support you! Links in the bio.
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#selfcare #selfregulation #neurodiversity #neurodiverse #ADHD #ADD #Autism #Autistic #highlysensitive #parenting

Self care if you’re highly sensitive is NON-NEGO

Self care if you’re highly sensitive is NON-NEGOTIABLE!
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With our delicate nervous systems we can easily get overwhelmed with all the extra stimulus that we are faced with. It's why so many of my clients struggle with things such as IBS, adrenal fatigue/burn out, auto-immune disorders, anxiety, stress, sleepless nights, headaches and general aches and pains. Our bodies are over stimulated and exhausted.
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Self care practices are essential if you're sensitive and should be a non negotiable part of your life.
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Ask yourself honestly how much time and consideration do you give to your own self-care; do you listen to your body? Perhaps you consider self-care to be selfish, unnecessary and quite frankly a waste of time, especially when so many other things have to be done?
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You need to stop.
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The one thing I have learnt over the years as a Kinesiologist, is that illness is our body's way of trying to get our attention. Physical symptoms and aliments are a clear sign that something is out of balance and needs addressing.
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I have tried many times over the years to be superwomen and have it all and it just doesn't work like that. Something will always have to give… for me it was my health. Without physical health life can become a struggle, our thoughts can be consumed with what is wrong, how to fix it and all the ways that we are now being held back! We get frustrated because we think our bodies should be able to cope.
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Our bio-chemistry is a delicate balance, from the gut flora levels in the intestines, to the release of hormones for normal bodily functions. When things are out of balance, boy do we know about it. BUT… rather than stopping and taking the time to listen to what our bodies are trying to tell, we push through the discomfort and the pain. We feed our bodies junk food and caffeine to MAKE it do what we need, we push ourselves to the limit, and we refuse to stop, even when we are ill. All of this has a huge impact on our physical and our emotional health and it is compounded over time.
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Health is the foundational piece of your physical life, so approach it with the respect it deserves.
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What can you do for yourself today?

Self care is important for everyone, but as parent

Self care is important for everyone, but as parents to neurodiversere children, it has to be non negotiable.
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I’ve always been a big advocate of self care and will often encourage people to take time out to get centred, ground and regulate themselves before rushing ahead. From that scattered place, we can’t think clearly, we become overwhelmed and everything feels like a really big deal. This is when the mind grabs it’s opportunity to tell us how rubbish we are at everything, how we’ll never figure it out and how we’re a big fat failure!
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This kind of inner talk is not helpful for our confidence and self esteem and it’s certainly not helpful when it comes to parenting our sensitive children. They know when we’re not feeling centred and calm and often this has a huge impact on them.
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Over the years I’ve noticed that when I’ve committed to regular breathwork, healing sessions and therapy, my daughter has been much calmer in herself. My grounded energy allows her to relax and feel safe and it’s a much nicer way of living for me too! Plus having a space where I can talk about my feelings, without the fear of judgement or being told I’m wrong has been priceless.
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I’m not saying this will be the same for everyone, but it’s definitely the case for us and that’s why my self care and owning my feelings, is non negotiable. I no longer tell myself I’m selfish for taking time out for me, or feel guilty for being honest about my struggles or how I feel.
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This is why I want to help others parents with their self care and emotions, I want the support readily available for others, that I had to find and create for myself.
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#neurodiversity #neurodiverse #ADHD #ADD #Autism #Autistic #highlysensitive #parenting

FULL MOON - August 2022 (12th at 2.35am UK time)
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What an amazing Full Moon we have coming up this week. The energy is BIG and it always amazes me how the themes for the moon energy are already playing out in my life before I research things and share.
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I loved offering some private energy sessions for the New Moon in July - it was great to get back to my roots of really playing with energy (a blend of breathwork, energy healing and an intuitive reading). AND, it's always a pleasure to welcome extra people into my group breathwork sessions. There's nothing quite like attending these sessions live! Replays are great, but live sessions are MAGICAL, because you get to benefit from the energy I'm channelling too.
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So, I'm doing it again for the August Full Moon. I have 4 private sessions available on Thursday and Friday and anyone is welcome to attend the group breathwork... I can hold space for an extra 3, 30 or 300! Links are in the Bio!
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I'll be sharing some Full Moon themes over the course of the week, but a big one is a feeling of completion and closure, which could require a decision to be made or the turning of a new page. As with all Full Moon's this can be a time of de cluttering and letting go. But it's also a time of creating more alignment and just being true to yourself.
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If this feels true for you, or you simply want to reconnect with yourself and breathe, then come and join us.
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My dream house and forever home is definitely one

My dream house and forever home is definitely one with land. I love the idea of having loads of space around me for animals, flowers, trees and veggies.
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To get me in the zone of 'living off the land'... I've been growing loads of things in my little greenhouse. Tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers, potatoes, sweet potatoes, broccoli, carrots, cauliflower and strawberries!
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Have to say, pottering with the plants does make me rather happy... plus it's very grounding after a day working with energy.
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#expressyourself #expressyourtruth #speakyourtruth #findyourvoice #speakup #speakout #safetospeakup #communication #beyourself #beseen #beheard #putyourselffirst #youmatter #voiceyourtruth #findyourvoice #useyourvoice #youropinionmatters #mindset #positivity #love #breathwork #breathe #healing #traumarelease #healyourself #heal #mindbodyconnection

Do you have moments where you feel as if people wa

Do you have moments where you feel as if people walk all over you and the worst thing is, you let them? If this sounds like you, then you're not alone, I've done this countless times in my life and as a recovering people pleaser, it's something I always have to watch.
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There are many reasons that we fall into the habit of people pleasing; including things like the fear of being rejected, abandoned and alone. Or the fear of conflict, arguments and disagreements. We think that keeping other people happy will protect the relationship, and in doing so it will keep us bonded to the other person and hence safe, but the reality is often very different.
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People pleasing is an endless cycle where we feel like we're walking on egg shells because we're always trying to be what someone else wants us to be; it's soul destroying, stressful and exhausting. You're trying to read their minds, predict and manage their responses; all the while feeling completely unsafe and ungrounded. Is it any wonder that we become ill, depressed and withdraw from people.
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When I discovered that people pleasing could actually be a trauma response, it took my breath away. Suddenly the last 4 decades made sense... I could finally understand my behaviour and my resistance to expressing my truth and doing what was right for me. It wasn't just a case of finding my confidence and taking steps to feel more comfortable, this was a trauma response because all my relationships felt conditional.
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This Friday I'm running a workshop within My Healing Membership and my aim is to help you identify where you're people pleasing and why. Let me help you create emotional freedom in expressing your truth and understanding any old wounds/trauma. Link in the bio.
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#expressyourself #expressyourtruth #speakyourtruth #findyourvoice #speakup #speakout #safetospeakup #communication #beyourself #beseen #beheard #putyourselffirst #youmatter #voiceyourtruth #findyourvoice #useyourvoice #youropinionmatters #mindset #positivity #love #breathwork #breathe #healing #traumarelease #healyourself #heal #mindbodyconnection

Such a beautiful time of the year! 💗 Have you e

Such a beautiful time of the year!
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Have you ever noticed that nature has no fear in expressing itself?
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#expressyourself #expressyourtruth #speakyourtruth #findyourvoice #speakup #speakout #safetospeakup #communication #beyourself #beseen #beheard #putyourselffirst #youmatter #voiceyourtruth #findyourvoice #useyourvoice #youropinionmatters #mindset #positivity #love #breathwork #breathe #healing #traumarelease #healyourself #heal #mindbodyconnection

Have you ever considered that there might be a pri

Have you ever considered that there might be a price to pay for not speaking up and expressing your truth?
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We often think about how we might feel emotionally if we hold back, but there can also be a lot going on with the body. When you experience those aches, pains and niggles it can be the body trying to get our attention and when we don't listen, this is when it can turn into illness and dis-ease! These things don't tend to happen overnight, they are a build up of months, years, even decades of not expressing our truth and not being able to live an authentic life.
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If you're new to the concept of the mind / body connection, you might find this rather confrontational and that's okay, this way of thinking might not be for you. BUT, if you've already begun to wonder or suspect that more is at play, then this could be the sign you need that you need to stop and pay attention to what your body is trying to communicate to you.
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Do any of these things feel familiar:
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You often feel a pressure or energy in the throat.
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You find yourself with annoying little coughs that you know are not related to any medical issues
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Your jaw can often feel tense and tight
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You can experience ear issues
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Your neck is often tense and tight
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You have IBS or other digestive health issues
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You struggle with an autoimmune illness
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Anxiety is a common friend for you
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You experience regular headaches or migraines
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If you resonate with any of the above symptoms, then take a few moments to ground and breath into the body and what you're feeling. Give the sensations space to be, without fear or judgement and then ask your body what you need to know. You may be surprised at the answer and I would love to know what emerged.
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#expressyourself #expressyourtruth #speakyourtruth #findyourvoice #speakup #speakout #safetospeakup #communication #beyourself #beseen #beheard #putyourselffirst #youmatter #voiceyourtruth #findyourvoice #useyourvoice #youropinionmatters #mindset #positivity #love #breathwork #breathe #healing #traumarelease #healyourself #heal #mindbodyconnection

It's FRIDAY, which can only mean one thing... 💗

It's FRIDAY, which can only mean one thing...
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Marshmallows and the fire pit are happening tonight.
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Have a great weekend everyone.
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#expressyourself #expressyourtruth #speakyourtruth #findyourvoice #speakup #speakout #safetospeakup #communication #beyourself #beseen #beheard #putyourselffirst #youmatter #voiceyourtruth #findyourvoice #useyourvoice #youropinionmatters #mindset #positivity #love #breathwork #breathe #healing #traumarelease #healyourself #heal #mindbodyconnection

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About

Marie is qualified and certified as a Kinesiologist, EFT Practitioner, Strategic Intervention Coach, Breathwork Facilitator, Hypnotherapist, Reiki Master, Karuna Reiki Practitioner and Practitioner of Transformational Bodywork. > Click for more

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