Understanding the root cause of self sabotage is a tricky enough process for ‘normal’ (because what is normal anyway) people, but add into the mix that you’re a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) or Empath and suddenly things can get more complicated. The root cause is often connected to some of our core beliefs and wounds about being so sensitive, our heightened intuition and our sensitivity to energy, and many people who claim to help with sabotage, simply don’t fully understand the depth of this. For us we can fear our very survival. Being an HSP and Empath myself and having self sabotaged more then once due to my sensitivity, I understand this more than most.
Self sabotage is when we say we want something, but subconsciously we’re doing everything we can to avoid making it happen. There is a part of us that is scared about all the changes that could happen and in that moment, the life we’re living seems safer to us, than an unknown future where we’re out of control and have no answers.
There are lots of people who could associate with wanting to be in control and feeling uncomfortable when they aren’t, but this feeling is intensified for the sensitive soul. They may have spent years being hyper vigilant of their surroundings and the people around them. They have walked on eggs shells fearing how others might react, constantly feeling anxious and apprehensive about things they often can’t articulate and the thought of more uncertainty is just too much for their body and mind to deal with. So they choose to self sabotage. This way they keep themselves safe and they stay in control. Life may not feel great and you may not have the success you want, but at least it feels manageable.
Let’s go a little deeper and see if any of these 10 fears or habits resonate for you:
• You already feel an immense responsibility for people, wanting to help them, fix them, save them or rescue them. The thought of more success, brings with it the fear of having to deal with more people and everything that they could bring to you. You’re overwhelmed, exhausted and don’t have much more to give.
• More success means more visibility and we’re scared to be seen. What if we’re rejected, criticised or persecuted for what we do, or what we believe in. This can trigger a survival instinct, especially if we’re carrying old energy of persecution.
• You’re already mindful of your energy levels and needing lots of down time, so what if more success means working harder, no downtime or not being able to be with family and friends. The sacrifice feels like too much.
• What if people don’t listen? What if they do listen? We’re just so conflicted and our mind just won’t stop. Speaking your truth is not a safe thing to do and if you choose to do this, the outcome could mean your very survival…. dramatic, but this used to happen and some of us still carry that energy and fear.
• The energy and emotions of others can often feel so loud to us and so we indulge in addictions to numb ourselves and distract ourselves from what we feel and to protect our energy. Just think, binging on sugar, junk food, social media or even Netflik.
• As an Empath, we can get confused by what energy is actually ours. We become unsure about how we really feel, what we want and even who we are. The fear of growth and success means being exposed to even more energy and emotions. We’re scared that it might engulf us and we’ll lose ourselves completely.
• Success can often mean leaving people behind as you’ve outgrown them and as Empaths we already have a deep rooted fear that we’re different and don’t fit in. To let go of people who give us some sense of belonging is incredibly hard, we fear that success means being alone and we’ll do anything to avoid that.
• We stay in toxic friendships and relationships too long, because we fear being alone. We sabotage our energetic vibration, just so that we fit in with these people, even though we know it’s not healthy.
• We question if we’re really worthy of such a big calling or mission. It sounds almost egotistical to say ‘ I know I was meant for something more or something bigger’. Our own self doubt and lack of belief causes us to sabotage – missing opportunities, not taking risks and even turning our back on our calling.
• By stepping into our power, we’re finally owning who we are and what we can do. Then fear kicks in, how do we explain or justify ourselves to others when we’re making decisions based on our intuition and energy. We can decide that the rest of the world is right, this is all nonsense and you aren’t helping anyone.
More and more sensitive souls are awakening to their gifts right now, which is truly amazing, but what often follows is fear, overwhelm, confusion and hiding away. I don’t want this to be you, so try some of these very simple techniques:
- Journal to identify what you’re resisting, what you’re scared of and the benefits of staying stuck… I guarantee there will be benefits. Consider the things I’ve shared above, can you see where you’re doing any of these?
- Use EFT to tap on the specific fears arising for you
- Meditate to get centered and back into that place of trusting that you’re safe, supported, never walking this path alone and that you’re enough.
- Get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Every day, do something that pushes your comfort zones a little.
- Do the inner healing and focus on keeping your energetic vibration high so that you are mastering your energy. From this place you will find yourself less triggered, overwhelmed and anxious. Plus when your self worth is high, you won’t allow yourself to tolerate toxic relationships and situations that don’t serve you.
If you know that you’re a sensitive soul and you need some support with better understanding yourself and how you approach the world, I would be delighted to help.
During our time together, we’ll go deeper into what it means to be sensitive soul or an Empath. We’ll look at boundaries, how to deal with toxic people, how you can strengthen your energy, energy healing and of course connecting with your intuition. Seeing your abilities as a gift and being able to use them in a positive and empowering way will truly change your life. I believe that your intuition is your souls way of communicating with you and it already knows where it’s heading. When you learn to trust yourself, everything in life just flows, all the anxiety, fear and doubt slips away and you can have an inner peace within your body, mind and soul.
Goodbye Self Sabotage, Hello Dream Life!
Just know that you’re not alone and my support is available if you would like it. Click here to find out more.
Until next time!
Helping sensitive souls to embody self-care, self-acceptance and self belief