Although I wrote this blog specifically with single mums in mind, the beliefs and the solutions could be just as true for those of you who do the majority of the childcare… whether this is because your partner works away, or simply doesn’t support you as much as you would like. I also recognise that there are some amazing single dads out there doing the best they can for their children and I admire them just as much. No digs intended, just wanting to create something for my core audience!
So the belief…. single mums can not be wealthy or have financial freedom!
Of all the beliefs about money, this one is very personal to me. I’ve been the child in this scenario and I’ve also been the parent….. I’m sure there’s something psychological there about history repeating itself, but let’s leave that analysis for another day! This belief is something I have had to work through extensively and even now I can catch myself going back to that place of believing I can’t do something because the children need me, or if I’m being really honest are getting in my way at times. Not my proudest moments, but when you’re stressed about paying the bills and you’re tired and overwhelmed from doing everything alone, it’s easy to think it’s the children’s fault for wanting and needing too much from me. Luckily I have the tools to quickly move past these beliefs, to move away from blaming and to forgive myself for thinking that I’m not a good enough mum.
So let’s look at some thoughts and beliefs that could come up for you:
- There is never enough time, because the children will always come first and they demand so much of me
- I’m always exhausted and I can’t even think about working more
- I don’t have the childcare I need to work longer hours
- School holidays are a nightmare…. my income is wiped out by childcare
- I’m overwhelmed and don’t know where to start. There is too much to do
- I don’t have the support I need. My family don’t live close by and I don’t like to ask friends for help
- I constantly have ‘mummy guilt’, as I try and juggle building a business and raising a family on my own. I also fear I’m not a good mum as I can often put earning money before being present with the kids. I’ve forgotten how to have fun and sometimes I yell when I’m exhausted, overwhelmed and scared. All of this is lowering my vibration and blocking money from coming to me
- I find it hard to receive. Doing everything for myself has become a habit and I know I’m a perfectionist who struggles to let go when it comes to my business – I’m stuck in a masculine energy and it’s not who I am
- I’m resentful that their dad has an easy life and has moved on. He has more money than ever and is not afraid to flash this about, he won’t have the children more so I can work and he’s made it clear that earning money to support ‘our’ kids is my problem
I’m pretty sure I could go on and on about all this, but let’s get practical and find some solutions:
- First, watch this EFT video (Single mums can’t be wealthy and have financial freedom) and see what beliefs, thoughts and memories come up for you
- Journal on all the reasons you believe that you can’t earn more money as a single parent. The list above will get you going, but write until there is nothing left within you. Now you need to take each belief and ask yourself if it’s 100% true. We need to interrupt the thought processes of your brain, release any negative emotions and then create new beliefs to help you feel lighter, more in control and open to money
- If you often feel overwhelmed, write a list of all the things you need to get done. This is about freeing up your mind and giving you a sense of inner peace. Now go back to the list (or lists… I have a work one and a personal one) and work out what has to be done today. Pick one thing that needs to be completed and start there. Once you take action it becomes easier and when you go to bed at night, I want you to feel grateful that you accomplished something
- Use this EFT video for being overwhelmed
- Use this EFT video for mummy guilt
- In terms of childcare – are there after school clubs you could use? What about sharing childcare with another parent and sharing school runs? Get creative and don’t put unnecessary blocks in your way
- What self care practices do you need to have in place to ensure you can be the best mum possible. Being a martyr does not help your children when you are tired, snappy and depressed. Show them that we all deserve to have our needs met. Set some boundaries and make sure you lovingly enforce them. Each day when I meditate, I tell my children not to disturb me for 30 minutes and it works. I started doing this when they were 8 and 5, yes it was trickier when they were younger, but even 5 minutes alone will help
- Find some role models…. when I’m doubting myself, I go and find the women who are knocking it out the park. Luckily I am part of some amazing entrepreneurial groups, with single mums in them who inspire me every day
I would love to help you get rid of this block for good and to create an amazing life for you and your children. I know how hard you work and how incredible you already are, so let me support you. As single mums there are lot of things we have to do alone, but emotionally detoxing so we can have the life and future we deserve and desire is not one of them. My group program starts soon and this is the perfect place to be supported and to be with like minded and positive woman who are all on a mission to better themselves and their lives. Just click here for more information
If you’re not ready for my group program yet, or financially it seems out of reach, then maybe you need to begin with my Self Study EFT program Heal Your Relationship With Money. This will help you to address some core beliefs around money and start to increase your confidence and self belief too!
It’s time to prove to yourself and to the world that single mums can be wealthy and financially free!
Until next time!
EFT Practitioner & Energy Worker
Helping the empowered woman who is ready to banish negativity, self-doubt & self-sabotage forever – time to believe in yourself and take action!