When one of my clients is stuck in indecision and simply can’t make their mind up – I know they’re in the process of sabotaging. Something about making this decision is causing internal conflict and resistance and it feels scary to them to commit to a choice or path.
Part of our work together, is to find out what is really going on beneath the resistance and this is essential because remaining in indecision is exhausting. We can experience an immense amount of mental trauma. We flit back and forth between options, not being able to trust our intuition over the right choice for us and this is when the emotional strain begins to take its toll. For some anxiety, depression, panic and fear become a normal part of life. This doesn’t even take into consideration the physical stress that these emotions place on the body – adrenal fatigue, burnout, chronic fatigue syndrome, IBS and other digestive health challenges, head aches, back aches… the list just goes on and on!
Besides all of the above, just think about the energy and time you’re wasting in being unable to commit to a choice. All of this is taking you away from the present moment and from your ability to experience true joy and peace. To end this scattering of your energy and to bring you back to ‘the now’, you need to commit to a path.
When it comes to your business, just think about all the decisions you’re delaying on:
- What should I call myself?
- Who is my ideal client?
- What should I charge?
- What’s my message?
- Should I work with that coach, or buy that new program/course?
- Should I start delegating more? i.e. VA, Website Designer, Content Manager
- Should I use Facebook or Instagram?
The list is never ending and this is all valuable time you could be spending putting yourself out there and connecting with new clients…. you are sabotaging your business success and you probably don’t even see it.
So, what if you knew there was no such thing as a bad decision…. would you still have so much fear?
Perfectionism will make it hard for you to accept this belief…. because you will always want to look for the perfect decision. Add in the potential for failure and you are in procrastination city. You don’t want to get it wrong, you don’t want to fail, you don’t want your decision to negatively impact other people and ultimately you just want to be happy.
The fear of making the wrong decision and having to deal with the fallout, can be so strong and burning in some, that they choose procrastination, or taking no action instead. Note that I said they ‘choose’, because choosing to do nothing is still a decision.
When you choose to do nothing, you have decided that taking responsibility for your own life and the direction it will take is too scary and unpredictable, and so in that moment you have chosen powerlessness and to stay stuck! Perhaps you think you won’t be able to cope with what may happen, and so it feels easier and safer to do nothing. Maybe you even have a little moan about how cruel life is and how other people are holding you back, because owning the fact that you’re refusing to decide is just too much for you.
I know that was a little direct, but I have been in this space myself and I have also chosen not to make decisions when it came to some pretty important things in my life. I hoped that someone, or something would come along and save me and it never happened! It’s like having money worries and buying a lottery ticket, thinking that will solve everything. You are coming from a place of powerlessness and are choosing to believe that you don’t have it within you, to change the course of your life…. I believe that you do! You just need to get in touch with that side of yourself again and remember how powerful you can really be.
So, how can you move past this fear?
1) Get really self aware:
What is your indecision really about. Name the fear, identify the limiting belief and then work towards moving past it. There will be something in your conscious mind that is telling you that change and the future is scary and uncertain. So let’s look at the monster under the bed… this is where we find out our fear of things, was much bigger than the reality!
2) Look for the opportunity for growth and trust in something bigger than you:
I do trust in something bigger than me and so I also believe that everything happens for a reason. I don’t always know what the reason is, but I choose to trust and have faith that one day I will look back and understand why things turned out the way they did.
I know that even if something doesn’t turn out the way I hoped, there will always be the chance to learn, grow and pivot. Nothing is permanent and there is always a way to tweak and improve on choices we made. At least for now I am choosing action and moving forward.
3) Trust Yourself:
We all experience gut feelings or intuition, so maybe its time that you started to listen to yours. If you feel excited, wonder, joy at the prospect, expansive, uplifted or curious, then the chances are this is a good decision for you. Trust that the fear you are feeling is more about the unknown and anticipation of what is to come.
If you still feel the fear about committing to a path, then journal on why. What is this really about? Then get Tapping or Meditate to release this fear.
4) Know that when you decide, you give others the permission to decide too!
I want you to think about the people that matter the most to you in life; your kids, your family, your friends, work colleagues, your clients…. what kind of example do you want to set them?
Would you like to teach them that they are powerful, they are in control of their life and that they have the ability to choose and create a life, which makes sense to them?
The world needs more people who are prepared to show others what is possible.
‘As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others’. (Marianne Williamson)
5) Let go of the outcome:
It’s easy to get very attached to the outcome of our decisions, we want certain things to happen in a certain way in a certain time…. this is when suffering happens, because our reality does not meet our expectations!
Let go of what you think has to happen and become open. Sometimes the universe has a better plan, make sure you are open enough to receive it!
Ultimately, there comes a point when you have to ask yourself what feels more painful. The fears within you of making a bad choice, or the knowledge that you are not fulfilling your purpose in life by choosing not to decide on any action. Start believing in yourself again!
Until next time!
Mindset Coach & EFT Practitioner
ARISE – Helping the empowered woman who is ready to banish negativity, self-doubt & self-sabotage forever – time to believe in yourself and take action!