Are you ready to become a more positive person…..
We have all come across people who always seem to see the worst in people and life. They just don’t seem to be able to see the good in anything and are constantly moaning, criticizing or judging. You wonder why they can’t just feel a little more positive about things – it would certainly make them feel better in the moment and no doubt it would help with their overall health and happiness.
When I am faced with these sorts of people, I ‘try‘ (because everyone gets triggered and has stuff to heal) not to judge them and I wonder what must be going on deep within to make them act like that. No doubt there are old stories and beliefs about themselves, others and the world, which they are choosing to carry and I wonder if there is also fear.
Because if they dropped the act, then who would they be….they have been this way for such a long time, that any change is scary and a little threatening to their comfort and familiarity of the world. Let’s just look at a few examples:
- If they became more positive, would they get their deeper psychological needs met? – You are guaranteed to get attention for being a moaner or a victim, even if the attention isn’t good! If they crave attention to know that someone cares, they will do whatever it takes to make that happen. Plus, people often bond over gossip and negativity. Maybe they fear being alone and having no friends!
- Would the world still be a safe place for them? – If they tried new things, they could risk failing, rejection, criticism. Doing things where they feel safe and the outcome is predicable means they feel comfortable and out of harms way.
- What would change? – If you suddenly looked at the world more positively you might actually make some changes and take some risks, maybe new friends or a new job. All exciting stuff, but scary to the ego which hates change.
So many questions, scenarios and possibilities and most of this is not things that people consciously think about. Makes life and people a little tricky doesn’t it!
So maybe you are one of these people and you are looking for a better way, or maybe you have someone in your life, who is dragging you down. Either way, its important to recognise that negative people can be a huge drain on our personal energy – particularly if you are a ‘sensitive soul’. I now have to limit my time with people like this, or if possible avoid them all together. It just feels too ‘yucky’ for me. It is also incredibly frustrating to have to listen to them, with the strong belief that half of their problems are creating by coming from such a negative place.
Just to say here – there is a big difference between spending time with someone who is ready and wants support on their journey and the person who just refuses to accept that there may be a better way. I have all the energy and time in the world, if you are truly ready to take responsibility, but if you want me to save you…. well honestly, I’m just not interested!
So here are some things you can do to become more positive:
• Allow yourself to let go of the past, so that you can enjoy the present. Let go of who you think you were (you are not defined by the past), let go of anger and resentments and if necessary forgive!
• Take responsibility for your life and make things happen – no one can do this for you. Remember only focus on the things that you can change. There is no point wasting your energy in trying to change things that are out of your control – like the past, or even other people
• If you have problems that need to be dealt with in your life, stop putting them off and hoping they will go away, or wishing that someone will come and save you. Write everything down that is occupying head space and try and tackle one thing at a time, you will feel so empowered because you are taking action
• Don’t take on the role of a victim and blame others for why your life doesn’t look the way you want it to
• Accept that bad things sometimes happen, its how you respond to those things that make a difference. Of course you need to feel into the emotions of the bigger emotional pieces in life and it would be wrong to suggest otherwise, but it doesn’t mean you have to stay there
• Don’t let fear get in your way. Fear is simply your mind trying to keep you safe. It doesn’t like change, because it is unfamiliar and everything is uncertain – push your comfort zones a little everyday
• Stop the moaning, criticizing and complaining. Not only does this drag you down and gives energy and attention to the things you are not happy about, it also affects those around you. No one wants to spend time with an energy vampire – again I am not talking about the times when we need support, I am talking about being negative for the sake of conversation! You would be amazed how many people use negatively as a way to bond and connect! Think about the quality of your conversations and if necessary steer the conversation towards more positive things
• Be grateful for what you have in life, it is very difficult to be negative while also being thankful for the roof over your head, your family, your friends etc. Start a gratitude practice – even if that is writing down 3 things every evening that you are grateful for
• Protect your personal boundaries and don’t spend time with people who bring you down. Sometimes you have to let go of unhealthy and toxic relationships/friendships. I know this is hard when it comes to family members, but maybe this is about reducing the time you spend with them
• STOP judging others. You have no idea what path they have walked in life and you are wasting energy by directing your judgements at them
• STOP watching the news, it is full of hate, violence and negativity. It creates fear and is only reporting a small percentage of what is going on in the world
• Enjoy life, smile, dance, sing, do activities that fill your heart with joy, engage in conversations with people and just connect – fun is good for the soul!
With all of these things boosting your emotional and physical health (because I believe in the Mind Body connection) – you would have to be crazy not to try them.. wouldn’t you?
Mindset and being more positive is just one of the many things that I enjoy working through with people. If you know your mindset could do with some attention and you’re ready to take action – then sign up for 5 FREE EFT video’s on being more empowered and emotionally detoxing those negative emotions! We look at, believing in yourself, people pleasing, speaking your truth, self sabotage and letting go of the past.
Until next time!
EFT Practitioner & Energy Worker
Helping the empowered woman who is ready to banish negativity, self-doubt & self-sabotage forever – time to believe in yourself and take action!
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