“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” Steve Maraboli
I remember a time only 18 months ago when I was obsessed about all the things I needed to change in my life. The more I stayed stuck in my head, thinking about everything, the longer my list became – it didn’t help that I was a recovering perfectionist and hated the thought of being a failure and messing up!
I was exhausted, overwhelmed, unfulfilled and still living in the past. I used these feeling as an excuse to not take enough action (or sometimes any action at all), and this made me feel even worse about myself. I knew that I had a greater calling, a mission that I had to complete, and yet I was stuck playing small and struggling to get clients.
Where are you using fear or old beliefs to stay stuck and safe?
For me it was that educational or work achievements meant success, and being successful meant I was worthy of love…. even as I type that I know it sounds crazy, but unfortunately I am not alone in this belief and that is why it is so important to shed light on it. It’s scary how much key decisions we make early in life can affect us so much as adults… it affects not only the way we live our life, but our businesses as well.
Battling with this belief meant that I would often make decisions that didn’t feel in complete alignment with who I was, or the business I wanted to create. It was too easy to look to the next shining offering, or Webinar or PDF to help me grow my business quickly so that I could finally experience the achievement I so desperately wanted. I would give energy to things that really didn’t deserve my attention and focus, but I had grown up believing that quitting was failure… I couldn’t see that these were simply opportunities for learning and part of the path to get me to where I really should be.
What about you? Have you made any key decisions in childhood that you are still playing out now? How do they affect your life and business?
I know from experience that until you stop and let go of all the inner rubbish, stories and beliefs you are carrying around, success is very likely going to out run you! These beliefs are heavy and they do weigh us down. It is so much harder to listen to our intuition and follow our hearts when all we can hear are the repetitive beliefs from the past.
Decide today that you ready to create your ideal life and let the past go…. The process may not be pretty and you may have huge resistance, but you can make it to the other side. Here are some tips on letting go of the past, which I have used with clients and for myself:
1) Forgive yourself – if you can’t be gentle and kind to yourself for past actions and decisions, you are asking for a life of misery. We do not come here knowing all the answers, that’s what life is all about. Forgiving yourself releases any negative and heavy emotions we have been carrying.
2) Get closure – whether this is clearing out any physical or emotional clutter, or simply putting a stake in the ground. Do whatever gives you the sense that enough is enough and you are ready to move on. Closure allows us to release low vibrational energy that stops us moving forward freely
3) Identify the benefits of staying stuck – be honest and ask yourself what benefits you get from not letting go of the past, of not forgiving and staying stuck. Perhaps you don’t have to put yourself out there and face rejection, criticism or judgement. Perhaps you enjoy complaining to your friends or family about how bad things are – you get their undivided attention and for just a few moments the world is about you! Are you worried that change could mean losing some friends? Perhaps staying stuck means you can continue with the poor diet and lack of exercise.
4) Know that you worth more and that you choose your own definition of success – when you accept that you have the ability to do great things in this life, you won’t want to settle for anything less. It is no less worthy to be an amazing mum and raise a healthy happy family, than it is to head up a corporation in the City… you define your own success, no one else.
5) Look for the gift – life happens ‘for you’ not to you. When you can be grateful for the person you have become and what you now have in your life, it makes it much easier to let go of anger, hate and resentment.
Only you can decide when you are ready for change, but the longer you delay the decision, the longer you will be stuck with the life you are living.
Until next time!
Helping you banish negativity, self-doubt & self-sabotage forever – it’s time to believe in yourself, take action and create the life you deserve.
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