You say you’re ready, you even journal about the life you want.
You dream of feeling more alive, more aligned, more you. You even write the to-do list, set the intentions, light the candle, say the mantra; but when it comes to actually doing the thing; leaving the relationship, changing career, focusing on your health, joining a course that you know will move you forward, you procrastinate and stall.
You numb out instead of taking action on the things that matter. You get busy being busy, telling yourself you’re being productive, achieving and moving life forward. Deep down, you feel frustrated with yourself because you know what you’re doing, you just can’t seem to take the ‘right’ action.
This internal tug-of-war is exhausting. You want change. You’re craving change and more from life. And yet, you keep bumping up against yourself.
You’re not lazy. You’re not broken. You’re not even procrastinating because you lack discipline… you might just be trying to protect yourself. As a highly sensitive or empathic woman, your nervous system has learnt that change, even positive change, feels unsafe. It brings uncertainty, discomfort and lots of change. So instead you stay in the familiar, even when it hurts, even when it’s draining you.
But I wonder…..are you not ready for change… or are you just scared about dealing with change?
For me these two things are very different.
When you’re not ready:
- You don’t have the emotional and mental bandwidth right now. Life is throwing some pretty big things at you and it’s taking everything you’ve got to just deal with everyday life.
- There’s no space to think clearly, let alone take big steps.
- Your nervous system is in survival mode, and even small decisions feel huge, impossible, or too much right now.
- You’re dealing with significant health issues that are taking all your time, energy and attention as you heal.
- Your responsibilities require you to focus on others right now, children, partner, ageing parents etc
If that’s you, be kind with yourself. The work here is rest, regulation, and in time creating space again. You’re not failing, you’re full and this is temporary. Until your system feels safe again and the challenges of life ease up, change will feel impossible. This isn’t the right time for you and that’s okay…. when you are ready and do have capacity, I’ll be here.
When you’re scared:
- You know you could move forward, but fear is gripping your chest. There would be a lot of uncertainty and right now you don’t have all the answers. This is confronting for you, because you like to be prepared and you’re a planner by nature.
- You over think every decision, waiting for the perfect time or for when you feel more confident.
- You’re already thinking about the people who would no longer have such a big place, or any place in your life and this is bringing up old wounds. The fear of being alone, abandoned, rejected etc
- You find yourself hiding behind planning, perfectionism, or procrastination. You’re delaying the change and believing your own excuses.
- You tell yourself stories like “I’ll do it after X,” or “Once Y is sorted, then I’ll…” Again, this is a delaying tactic and there will always be something for you to find.
All of these things are fears, not a lack of readiness. If you keep telling yourself that it’s not the right time you will waste years waiting for the perfect conditions. The only way to move through fear is to take a step anyway, because even baby steps will get you where you want to be eventually. This is where I can come in.
So ask yourself honestly:
- Am I truly not ready, or am I afraid of what the future might hold?
- Am I scared about who I would become and how my relationships might change?
- What am I really avoiding?
- What would I do if I trusted myself and life itself more deeply?
You don’t need to figure it all out today. But you do deserve to stop fighting yourself. If this stirred something in you and you’re recognising your own patterns; I want you to know you’re not alone. This is the work I do, gently guiding women like you back to themselves, their energy, and their truth… I help them to become themselves. For some, for the very first time!
