Whatever you want to call them, energy vampires, energy leeches, energy hoovers, energy robbers, it’s time to identify yours.
If you’re a sensitive person and you suddenly find yourself feeling deeply tired, overwhelmed, anxious, frustrated, or even irrationally angry after being with someone, there’s a good chance your energy has been drained. This isn’t imagined and it’s not a personal weakness.
Sometimes just being in someone’s presence, or speaking to them on the phone, can leave you feeling like you need to lie down, sleep, or completely reset. Emotions and physical sensations appear that weren’t there before. Your body feels heavy and your thinking feels foggy. On a subconscious level, your body often knows what has happened, before your mind even comprehends it.
You might notice yourself hunching your shoulders, crossing your arms, turning your body away, or physically stepping back. This is your system trying to protect your energy, particularly around the Solar Plexus and the Heart Chakra.
If this sounds familiar, first off, don’t panic. There are things you can do.
Most people aren’t consciously trying to take your energy, although there are exceptions…. these are people to avoid at all costs if you can! But intentional or not, that doesn’t mean there is no impact on you. If someone repeatedly leaves you feeling drained, something needs to change, for your sanity, emotional well-being and your physical health.
So, a good place to start is making a list of the people you regularly spend time with. Friends, family, partners, colleagues, clients, parents at school, social groups and even educational/learning environments. Unfortunately, many women I work with discover that the people draining them the most, are those in closest contact to them. This is very common if you’re a healer or a natural giver, your energy is very appealing and attractive to the energy vampire. They want it, or they want to squash it!
As you think of each person that you regularly connect with, notice how your body responds. Do you feel:
- Open or contracted?
- Content or heavy?
- Calm or on edge?
- Is your heart racing and you feel like a tiger is about to attack?
This awareness alone is powerful, because your body is deeply in tune with the energy around it. It will notice things that the logical mind can miss. This is now where energetic boundaries become essential.
People who repeatedly drain your energy are often not in energetic alignment with you. That doesn’t make them bad people, but it does mean you may need to reduce contact, change the dynamic, or in some cases, step away altogether.
You’re allowed to protect your energy and remember, you are not the problem for speaking up, setting boundaries or wanting to feel safe.
How to deal with energy takers:
I know this can be challenging, especially when the people involved are in close proximity to you. Here are some of the things you could try:
- Reduce contact where possible, or release the relationship if you can.
- Set clear conversational boundaries around topics that drain you, or the way you converse – being talked ‘at’ is not okay, neither is someone trying to get you to agree with them, when you clearly don’t.
- Change the subject, or calmly state what you’re not available for.
- Use EFT or tapping after contact with them to release emotions and energy that you have taken on and to replenish your own energy field.
- Move your body, walk, go to the gym, practise yoga.
- Meditate to ground, clear, and rejuvenate your energy.
- If crystals resonate with you, grounding stones like Black Tourmaline, Obsidian, Selenite, or Boji Stones can help. Around these types of people, my pockets are always full of crystals, even if it’s a placebo, it makes me feel better.
- Bubble up your energy around them – my video explains everything
Strengthening your own energy:
Alongside all of the above, it’s essential to look within yourself and be sure that you’re doing your own inner work and protecting your energy. So maybe reflect on questions like:
- Why do I allow this person to take from me? What do I fear would happen if I spoke up, or asserted a boundary?
- Do I worry about being liked, rejected, or criticised by not complying?
- Have I been giving enough time to my own emotional and physical energy? Rest, healing, therapy, etc
Remember, when you’re grounded, regulated, and aligned, it becomes much harder for others to drain you. When we can understand how and why this happens, we can change things and protect ourselves.
People I follow:
- Caroline Strawson – Fantastic for understanding narcissistic behaviour, gaslighting and generally how to deal with toxic people (podcast, courses)
- Christiane Northrup – Dodging Energy Vampires (book)
- Judith Orloff – Empaths Survival Guide (book)
If you’ve experienced people like this, you’re not imagining it, and you’re not alone. There might well be people in your life that simply don’t understand and think you’re making it up, you’re over reacting, or you’re just being too sensitive, BUT, I want you to know that this is very real and very common.
