Everything feels overwhelming, I’m right on the edge, I can’t cope, it all feels too much, I’m at breaking point, I’m so stressed, I can’t think straight and I just want to run and hide…. do any of these sounds familiar to you, because if they do, I suspect you’re experiencing stress.
At some point in our life we’ll all experience stress. Whether for a few days or much longer, it can be totally debilitating. A UK survey by Bupa revealed that over 50% of people in their 40’s and 50’s are stressed and some of those people have felt that way for over a year. While it can be reassuring to know that we’re not the only, I just think it’s incredibly sad that so many people are feeling this way and for so long. Many of these people will pretend they are okay and just get on with life and yet there is an internal battle that no one else sees.
All that adrenaline and cortisol pumping around the body is very unpleasant and we find ourselves trapped in a fight or flight response. We’re ready for the big attack that we fear is coming.
Emotions are all over the place and we’re totally dis-regulated and ungrounded. Distracted, anxious, on edge, feeling overwhelmed and irritated by everything and everyone. Life feels very uncertain and unsafe and for some, this is when trauma of the past can re appear. It reminds us of another time, place and person where we felt this way.
The physical body starts to feel tense and tight, digestion is impacted (hello IBS) and headaches, loss of sleep and exhaustion become very common and troublesome. Chronic stress is known as being a factor in dis-ease in the body and can lead to more serious illnesses, so managing this is key.
If we don’t address these things, it can have a huge impact on our sense of inner peace, happiness, confidence and love of life, as well as our health. We can lose our sense of self and our inner resilience, because everything just feels hard.
So how do we move past this?
Well here are a few simple tips to start:
- Do some breathwork. Whether you do a quick session of slow deep breathing or a more intense session, it will help you to move out of fight or flight. The body has a chance to regulate and suddenly you feel calm and grounded, with a different perspective on things.
- Enjoy a meditation. There are so many to choose from, so find one that you know works for you.
- Get outside in nature and do some grounding practices – feet on the ground, walking in the sea or forest always works wonders.
- Journal to really understand what the root cause is. It’s easy to say things like ‘it’s a lack of money or certainty’… but what are you making all that mean. What does it remind you of, what fear is present.
- Do you need to enforce some boundaries and be honest about how you feel? People will treat you how you allow them to treat you and if this is causing you stress, then it’s okay to push back a little.
- EFT/Tapping is a great way to regulate yourself, releasing pent up energy and to understand what is causing you to feel so triggered by the stress. This is my first ‘go to’ because then I know exactly what I need to do next.
- In times of chronic and intense stress, be mindful of how you exercise as too much could push you into a crash or burnout. Sometimes we need to move the body vigorously and sometimes we need to slow everything down.
- Listen to what your body needs – more sleep, water, a slice of cake (just me??) a warm bath, distraction with your favourite box set on TV?
- Work with someone to support you as you navigate this.
Sometimes we can’t avoid stress, but we can choose to minimise it and manage it.
If you’re going through a stressful time and you need someone in your corner to support you, then reach out to me. Whether you need me for one month, or more, just imagine having someone there not only to listen, but to provide advice and resources as you need it – this is priceless. Let’s get you back on track together, because you deserve more and you deserve to be supported. For on line sessions click here and for in person in Dorset click here.
