I’ve been thinking a lot lately about burnout and why so many capable women find themselves back in the same exhausted place again and again.
You take some time off, promise yourself things will be different, maybe even make a few changes… and yet somehow the stress slowly creeps back in. The emotional exhaustion returns and the resentment builds. Before you know it you’re back in that familiar cycle of pushing through, holding everything together and wondering how you ended up here… again!
For a long time people have been told that burnout is simply about doing too much. Too many hours, too much responsibility, too little rest. While that can certainly be part of it, in my experience it rarely tells the full story. When I work with people, we often discover that burnout has roots much deeper than a busy diary.
There are patterns underneath the emotional exhaustion that shape how you think, how you relate to others, how you respond to pressure and what you believe you’re allowed to need. Over the years I’ve noticed that there are five core root causes that tend to keep women stuck in the burnout cycle. These patterns and habits are often so embedded, that most people don’t even realise they’re running the show:
• People pleasing and over-responsibility – Feeling responsible for everyone else’s happiness, needs and emotions, while quietly putting your own to the bottom of the list. You say yes, when you desperately want to say no.
•Self-abandonment and loss of identity – Somewhere along the way you stopped asking for what you want, need or enjoy, because life became about being what everyone else needed you to be. You have no idea who you are any more and you just feel numb.
• A nervous system stuck in survival mode – Living in a near constant state of tension and that fight of flight energy. Urgency or pressure is ever present and your body rarely feels fully safe enough to relax.
• Lack of boundaries and carrying the emotional load – Holding everything together for everyone else, managing situations, smoothing conflicts and doing far more than your fair share, especially at home where you’re trying to be all things to all people, as well as managing your career or business.
• Disconnection from desire, joy, pleasure and receiving – Life becomes about responsibility and endurance, and the things that once lit you up slowly fade into the background. You can’t remember the last time you belly laughed, experienced true joy or pleasure, it feels like a life time ago.
Do you recognise yourself in these?
Most of them likely began as ways of staying safe, being loved or fitting in. But over time they can drain your energy and pull you further away from yourself. It’s why burnout isn’t solved by simply taking a holiday or learning how to manage your time better. If the root pattern is still there, life slowly fills the space again.
The world is only getting busier and so nip this in the bud once and for all…. choose to work with me and let’s break the burnout cycle for good. You deserve so much more than you’ve settled for and I know that more is possible for you.
