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February 6, 2019 By Marie Houlden 0 Comments

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mariehoulden

I hate to burst your bubble, but there is no perfe

I hate to burst your bubble, but there is no perfect time to commit to yourself and if you don't commit to yourself, it's unlikely other people will either.
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There will always be something that you could use as an excuse not to take action, not to show up, not to have that conversation, basically not to live the life you truly want and deserve and to focus on your own self care. I know life is busy and crazy at times, but if we don't focus on self-care and living an aligned life, we risk burning out.
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Earlier this year, I noticed that I had fallen into old habits again. I was putting everything and everyone else before me and I wasn't focused enough on my own self care, my own life and desires and what made me happy. After a pretty painful wake up call that will forever leave it's mark, I knew that I was ready to commit to myself more fully, because if I didn't, no one else would.
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So what about you:
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If you're waiting for permission, you could be waiting forever. Unfortunately, people aren't focusing on you and your self-care, they are often too self absorbed with what they want and need. It's just human nature.
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If you're waiting to feel ready, you'll always find an excuse to put things off. Whether this is having tricky conversations, saying no, doing something scary or simply facing your guilt when you do something for you.
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If you're waiting to have more money; you could always find something else to spend the money on. Self care does not have to be expensive, often it can be free, so perhaps look at other ways to meet your needs.
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If you're waiting for a sign.... well, reading this is a pretty big one.
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Whatever has stopped you from committing to yourself; decide that you're ready and that it's time for more self-care. It's time to be present in your own life, to enjoy life and to have health, wealth and happiness.
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If you need more accountability, so that you can finally focus on you, then I would love to be your cheerleader. Just look at the links in my bio (or in the comments below) for how we can work together.
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#selfacceptance #putyourselffirst #youmatter #sensitivesoul #sensitive #HSP #selfbelief #selfcare

'Self Care Is'... allowing yourself to have fun
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How often do you just allow yourself to have fun? The kind of fun where you embrace playfulness, you laugh until you cry, you lose all track of time and you just ooze joy!
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I just love seeing people in that place, because their energy is so magnetic and infectious. When I see people like that, I want to be around them and I want to be like them.
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Fun used to be something that I only experienced here and there. Life was so intense and serious for such a long time that I never made space for fun and quite honestly I was so detached from myself, I didn't know how to have fun. While I'm still an intense person at times, I have an off switch, which I didn't before.
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When I gave more space and attention to fun and decided that I had put other people and my kids first for long enough, I started to find myself again. I was being more active, more social, laughing more, being silly and playful, allowing myself to embrace pleasure and what felt good to me, laughing and even being funny! Who knew I was funny!
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My energy became so much lighter and I felt like I could really enjoy and embrace life again; rather than waiting for 'when' things are easier, or the kids are grown up, or when I've achieved some other goal.
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When we focus on our self-care, fun has to be part of this. It shifts our energy and makes us so magnetic. By simply being ourselves and loving life, we can attract the perfect people, opportunities, new clients, money, health etc. Fun is not a nice to have, it's a must have! If you know you need some help and encouragement when it comes to self-care, then have a look at the ways you can work with me in June, links in my bio.
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#selfacceptance #putyourselffirst #youmatter #sensitivesoul #sensitive #HSP #selfbelief #selfcare #mindset #positivity #happy #choosetobehappy #iwanttobehappy #happiness #choosehappiness #happinessnow #Ifeelhappy #detoxemotions #detoxnegativity #loveyourself #ilovemylife

Focusing on ourselves can feel very indulgent and

Focusing on ourselves can feel very indulgent and selfish, but to be the best versions of ourselves, we need to have a full cup.
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When we're depleted and empty we have nothing to give. Our creativity, motivation and focus is lacking, our energy is low and we're definitely not enjoying life as much as we could. We're in survival mode and just trying to make it through another day.
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What if you had some accountability?
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Would that allow you to focus on you; without guilt, without getting distracted by the to do list and without feeling selfish?
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If in doubt, try it out!
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Agree to do things with a friend. Ask those closest to you to hold you accountable. Make a public declaration so you don't back out. Pay for something in advance so you feel committed. Invest in someone to support you!
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If you need more accountability, so that you can finally focus on you, then I would love to be your cheerleader. Just look at the links in my bio (or in the comments below) for how we can work together.
💕
#selfacceptance #putyourselffirst #youmatter #sensitivesoul #sensitive #HSP #selfbelief #selfcare #mindset #positivity #happy #choosetobehappy #iwanttobehappy #happiness #choosehappiness #happinessnow #Ifeelhappy #detoxemotions #detoxnegativity #loveyourself #ilovemylife

We've all been there.... choosing to numb ourselve

We've all been there.... choosing to numb ourselves with things like sugar, Netflix, alcohol, smoking, junk food, exercise, work, drama and over indulging in physical intimacy! But when we do this, we're not choosing ourselves.
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The ultimate act of self care is to lean into our emotions, to face how we really feel and then to take the necessary action so that we don't have to escape our emotions and our life any more.
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The trouble is, this can feel very scary.
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We have to face our inner pain, connect with our truth and heal. We might have to deal with difficult conversations and risk hurting someone else and we have to deal with change and all the uncertainty that can bring.
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Of course numbing is easier, but it will slowly eat away at you. You'll become someone you don't recognise and life will lose it's joy.
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If you feel ready to truly face your emotions and deal with your distracting addictions, then just know I'm here and ready to help.
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Understanding and addressing your fears, healing the past, helping you remember that you deserve more and finally loving life again is what I want for you.
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Check out the links in my bio for how I can support you.
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#selfacceptance #putyourselffirst #youmatter #sensitivesoul #sensitive #HSP #selfbelief #selfcare #mindset #positivity #happy #choosetobehappy #iwanttobehappy #happiness #choosehappiness #happinessnow #Ifeelhappy #detoxemotions #detoxnegativity #loveyourself #ilovemylife

'Self Care Is'... Plugging Your Energy Leaks 💕

'Self Care Is'... Plugging Your Energy Leaks
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Energy leaks are like trying to collect water in a bucket with holes! No matter what you do, how you rearrange things and how hard you work, those pesky holes just keep on leaking your energy, motivation and enthusiasm and worst of all they can block your success! If you're a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) it can even impact your emotional and physical well-being. Too many things to think about or process for a sensitive soul, has a huge impact on our nervous system... it can literally put us in a state of fight or flight.
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Now I don’t know about you, but there’s no way I’m going to let a broken bucket stop me from having the life, business and emotional health I want, especially when I’m the one holding the handle.
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So to overcome this, I regularly sit down (sometimes daily when I really want to feel good, or when I’m determined to make progress) and review all areas of my life and ask myself – where am I not in alignment with my truth, my values and the way I really want to live my life. I take the time to review every area and notice how it feels in my body. All of us can take a logical approach to our feelings, but this is not where the truth lies.
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Personally, I know I am out of alignment when I feel agitated, irritable, angry/cross for no reason, trapped, low in energy or motivation, emotionally flat, or when I simply want to run and hide from the world. Once upon a time I would have put it down to hormones, stress, personal issues etc… but now I like to dig a little more and uncover the real reason.
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So I invite you today to honour your own truth and listen to your body and intuition, because it’s time for you to own your truth and then take the steps in making that aligned life happen.
If you need a little more guidance and support with this, then there are a couple of ways you can work with me on this; links are in the bio.
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#selfacceptance #putyourselffirst #youmatter #sensitivesoul #sensitive #HSP #selfbelief #selfcare #mindset #positivity #happy #choosetobehappy #iwanttobehappy #happiness #choosehappiness #happinessnow #Ifeelhappy #detoxemotions #detoxnegativity #loveyourself #ilovemylife

'Self Care Is'.... dealing with your overwhelm
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Do you ever have those days where you feel so over whelmed with life and where you just wish you could hide under the duvet? There are all these things demanding your time and attention, but you have no idea where to start. Your exhaustion is off the scale and everything and everyone is irritating you!
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We've all had moments where life was crazy busy and just when you think you've got everything planned in or under control, life throws you a curve ball. These things can knock you for six and make you feel like you're drowning; it can become hard to do anything, because your mind is all over the place and you can't think straight. Even the smallest of tasks feel daunting, scary or too big.
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You need to break things down into achievable steps. Because here's the thing with having a super busy life - your to-do list will never be completed. Here are some simple tips for you to try right now:
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1) Break down that big to-do list. Choose your priorities for that day or that week, so you always feel like you're moving things forward and making progress. Remember, your self worth is not defined by achievement.
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2) Delegate where you can - you do not have to do everything. Ask for help, trust that people will support you and allow yourself to receive this help and support. Don't go into victim or martyr mode, know that you always have choice. If there is resistance to delegating, lean in and explore what this could be about.
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3) Drop the things that really aren't that important to you, or don't really need to be done. It's okay to say no to people and the things that don't bring you immense joy and don't add to your life.
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If you would like some support with prioritising self care or understanding your own resistance to putting yourself first, then I have a couple of ways you can work with me. Check out the links in my bio.
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#selfacceptance #putyourselffirst #youmatter #sensitivesoul #sensitive #HSP #selfbelief #selfcare #mindset #positivity #happy #choosetobehappy #iwanttobehappy #happiness #choosehappiness #happinessnow #Ifeelhappy #detoxemotions #detoxnegativity #loveyourself #ilovemylife

Self Care Is... taking time out to breathe! 💕 I

Self Care Is... taking time out to breathe!
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It's no secret that I love breathwork. It's been a real game changer for me; helping me heal, but also helping me to feel calm, grounded and centred as I navigate life.
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Breathwork is a non-negotiable part of my self care plan and always will be. Whether it's a shorter 30 minute session, or a beautiful and intense 60 minutes.... I always find the time.
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Tomorrow is a New Moon and what better way to embody it's energy than to come and breathe with me. Especially as the energy of this moon is all about slowing down and reconnecting with yourself.
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We start at 7.30pm UK time tonight and I would love to have you join us. Link in the bio.
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#breathwork #breathe #justbreathe #healing #traumarelease #healyourself #heal #mindbodyconnection #expansion #heartexpansion #selfacceptance #putyourselffirst #youmatter #sensitivesoul #sensitive #HSP #selfbelief #selfcare #mindset #positivity #happy #choosetobehappy #detoxemotions #detoxnegativity #loveyourself #ilovemylife

Some people just intuitively know how far they can

Some people just intuitively know how far they can push us and exactly what to say or do, to get what they want or need. It can leave us feeling exhausted, violated and completely under appreciated. This can happen in our personal life and in our business.

Does this sound like you?

• You want to assert yourself, but you’re scared to speak your truth and you fear judgement, rejection and criticism.

• You want to have the freedom to choose what’s best for you, but instead you put the other person first, choosing to keep the peace and avoiding conflict.

• You want people to like you and so whatever they need, you’re there for them. Even when your body is crying out for you to stop and there are things you need to do for yourself.

• You feel like everyone is taking advantage of you... your friends, clients, colleagues and even your family.

• You’re so angry at yourself for being weak and not standing your ground, but every time you decide that today is the day you'll be brave and say no or speak your truth, you give in or procrastinate.

It's so confusing and exhausting. You end up feeling resentful at the people who are taking advantage of you, but in reality, you're the one allowing it.

I want you to know that you're not alone in this, and often our choices are a trauma response. It's why it's so unhelpful when people say 'just speak up and say no', 'what are you waiting for?', or 'why is this such a big deal?'. Sometimes we just don't know consciously, but our body is definitely remembering something and so it's coming from a place of fear and survival.

To feel truly free, happy and in alignment with ourselves, we need to have boundaries. Otherwise we can lose sight of who we are and why we're here. This is even more important to the sensitive souls among us.

If you would like some more support with this, then click on the link in my bio!

#selfacceptance #putyourselffirst #youmatter #sensitivesoul #sensitive #HSP #selfbelief #selfcare #mindset #positivity #happy #choosetobehappy #iwanttobehappy #happiness #choosehappiness #happinessnow #Ifeelhappy #detoxemotions #detoxnegativity #loveyourself #ilovemylife

Are you running on empty? 🌟 We've all been ther

Are you running on empty?
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We've all been there.
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That horrible place of running on empty. Our body is screaming at us to stop, our mind is frazzled and yet there is still so much to do and so many demands on our time and energy.
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We know we need a break and we know we need to slow down, but often there isn't a choice to be made. Our children need us to be fully present, to be calm and centered and to help them deal with life; regardless of our own struggles.
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I think most parents can relate to this, but add in some additional challenges of having a child who is neurodivergent and everything becomes that little bit harder.
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Of course we just get on with it, because what other choice is there, but it doesn't mean we don't struggle at times and wish that life was easier.
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It's why I created "The Ultimate Emotional Support Programme for Mums of Neurodiverse Children', because when mum is supported, she can be more present, calm and focused for her child/children. Just having some time each week to focus on her own feelings and well being can have such a huge impact on everything.
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A sense of calm within mum.
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A calmer energy in the home.
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And ultimately a calmer child.
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In just 6 weeks, you will feel different. It's not a magic solution, but it puts you on the right path and helps you to be clear about what you need to do for you, in order to feel more calm, centered and confident about things. This shift in you, creates a powerful shift within your children... I know, because this was my experience and I see it too in my clients.
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The next live round starts next Tuesday and I would love to have you join us. Testimonial from a previous participant:
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"It is remarkable how Marie creates such a safe space from the word go. In the ‘Group support for Mums of Neurodiverse children’, I felt truly ‘listened’ to, without judgement. Marie is a very genuine and caring individual, and she structures the sessions with a perfect mix of sharing information and surprisingly powerful breathwork. I highly recommend this programme to any mother who could benefit from taking some time for herself with a strong focus on the importance of self compassion".
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'Self Care Is'.... knowing you deserve to be heard

'Self Care Is'.... knowing you deserve to be heard
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When it comes to doing the deep healing work, we all need to have a space where we can be fully expressed and heard. It's such an important part of the healing process. Knowing that we have all the time we need to speak and process our thoughts, but also that we have a safe space to be ourselves. We don't have to censor what we say for fear of being judged of misunderstood, we don't have to rush for fear that we'll be cut off, spoken over, or told what our problem is.
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Even as I type this I can feel my whole body relax, because I now have these loving and compassionate spaces in my life; with friends and with the people I do my own inner healing with. It's been fundamental to my healing journey and I know that I'm one of the lucky ones, because so many people don't have these spaces, or people in their life.
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Without having that safe space where you know you are truly seen and heard, we can feel very alone. Everything can seem overwhelming, confusing and can generate such anxiety within us; when we're disconnected from others, we can often feel disconnected from ourselves too. Which means lots of second guessing and doubting our choices and intuition, not great when decisions need to be made and action needs to be taken.
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It's a beautiful moment when you see someones energy change, because they feel truly seen and heard; maybe for the first time in their entire life! So, forget all the fancy advice, positivity talk and magical healing modalities, they're meaningless if the person doesn't feel like you're listening to them and really seeing them. AND, people always know...especially if they're sensitive.
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Being fully present and holding a space where someone feels truly seen and heard is what I do best, so if your heart is telling you that this is exactly what you need, then please get in contact and let's see how I could support you in a deeper way. That safe space is where your healing lies, this is where the answers can be found, and this is where you trust yourself again.
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Whatever you're navigating right now, just know I'm always here ready to help.
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There is not enough support out there for parents

There is not enough support out there for parents with neurodiverse children....and I want to help!
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When I repeatedly hear about waiting times, lack of support, daily challenges and how it impacts the emotional and mental wellbeing of the entire family, I feel so sad and so angry.
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I know resources are stretched and the demands on schools, council departments and the NHS are higher than ever, but parents need help and I'm not okay with leaving them to struggle.
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I believe that when parents have the resources they need to feel emotionally regulated and calm, they are much better placed to help their child/children. If you're stressed, anxious and your nervous system is all over the place, you're in survival mode and everything becomes too much. How can anyone give to children from this place?
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I'm luckily enough that I have lots of tools at my disposal and people that I can lean, but what about those who aren't that lucky. What are they meant to do?
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I don't have all the answers and I'm learning as I go, but what I can tell you is that I want to help and if you need me, I'm here to help.
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I'm exploring a few options.... 'A Self Care Tool Kit' that you can dip into whenever you need it, running my live 6 week programme again and even hosting a day or weekend retreat.... all for parents of neurodiverse children.
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If you're a parent of a neuro divergent child (or you know someone who is), please tell me what you need and let me help. You do not have to do this alone.
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#adhd #autistic #neurodiverse #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #autismacceptance #adhdparenting #autismparents

Self Care Is...Having time where it's all about yo

Self Care Is...Having time where it's all about you!
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This week I've had some fascinating conversations with clients about taking proper time out to relax.
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If you're like me, you might say I relax by watching the TV at night, or reading a good book. While you might be stopping physical movement and you're not racing around the house, looking after the kids or working etc... is this really relaxing enough for you?
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Imagine this, you're watching the TV or reading a book and yet there's still a part of you that's on edge and not completely relaxed. You know that other people are in the house and experience has shown that you must be ready for the unexpected. So you're waiting for someone to interrupt you, or you're waiting for something to happen.
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Your body and nervous system is incredibly clever at remembering all of these previous events where you were interrupted, or something did happen. Without you even knowing, it's placed you on high alert, despite the relaxing activity you're trying to enjoy. It's trying to keep you safe and deal with the imminent threat, that it thinks might come forth.
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As you can imagine this is exhausting and can lead to massive energy dips. But there are things you can do and for many people this is having time alone where it's all about you.
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Suggestions for you:
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Take regular slots of time where you can go somewhere alone (or have the house to yourself) and where there are no demands on your attention or energy
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Turn off your phone, or at the very least put it on silent - only answer if it's an emergency (you could agree a code in advance for calls that must be answered)
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Give yourself permission to be present with your body, your thoughts and the space around you. It's why I love getting out into nature....
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Meditate or do breathwork, ensuring you won't be interrupted
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Commit to healing sessions where you can talk about how you feel, without the need to justify or defend yourself.
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I would love to help, so check out the links in my bio.
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#selfcare #selfregulation #neurodiversity #neurodiverse #ADHD #ADD #Autism #Autistic #highlysensitive #parenting

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About

Marie is qualified and certified as a Kinesiologist, EFT Practitioner, Strategic Intervention Coach, Breathwork Facilitator, Hypnotherapist, Reiki Master, Karuna Reiki Practitioner and Practitioner of Transformational Bodywork. > Click for more

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